I thought yesterday would be my final post before Christmas. However, today we did make a Christmas Eve trip to the cardiologist where our echocardiogram technician reported that everything looks good - the valve has closed (at least that's what we're interpreting from him) and Ellen has achieved another graduation date! Of course we're receiving it as a great Christmas present from her (and our great God!). We had lunch afterward and our waitress wondered how old she was...a month, she guessed. So, although it seems that our little girl is growing up so fast, she is still pretty little.
Merry Christmas Eve to all...I think Santa is on his way on the firetruck...that's New Jersey style...
December 24, 2009
December 22, 2009
Another Graduation Day
I've got a few more pictures to post but first, the news. Ellen had her second visit with the pulmonologist today. At our first visit back in October we were (naively) hopeful that she would no longer need the apnea monitor she'd been attached to since birth. At that visit, however, they told us we could wean her off it. Today, after two months of weaning, Jeanine took her back and we're VERY pleased to report that she has graduated yet again. No more monitor necessary! We've all been so blessed that her progress has been so steady. Her weight today was 11 pounds, 15 ounces (with onesie and diaper on). No, she's not walking yet. Nor dating.
We're looking forward to both sets of parents coming out (weather permitting) in the next couple of weeks. Ellen will be baptized on Sunday, January 3 at RCRC (271 Lincoln Ave., Ridgewood, NJ) during the morning service - 10:30 AM. It's been a long journey already to this point but we're ready to celebrate Christmas, New Year's, and a baptism with our friends and family. If you're in town (or want to be), please come for the celebration.
And now, the pictures with info.
The belt is off! At least two of us are happy about it...
After Sunday evening's Service of Lessons and Carols...Ellen in one of her Christmas dresses.
Just a little cuddle time.
This will probably be the last post before Christmas. We go to see the cardiologist on Christmas Eve for an echocardiogram to see if her PFO (https://health.google.com/health/ref/Patent+foramen+ovale) has closed. We won't know the results of the test for at least a week. Given the nature of the week, it will probably be more like two weeks. Anyway, we're hopeful it will provide for more celebration when the results are available. And when we know, we'll let you know!
Thanks for your continued thoughts and prayers on our behalf. May God bless you and yours this season and always.
We're looking forward to both sets of parents coming out (weather permitting) in the next couple of weeks. Ellen will be baptized on Sunday, January 3 at RCRC (271 Lincoln Ave., Ridgewood, NJ) during the morning service - 10:30 AM. It's been a long journey already to this point but we're ready to celebrate Christmas, New Year's, and a baptism with our friends and family. If you're in town (or want to be), please come for the celebration.
And now, the pictures with info.
The belt is off! At least two of us are happy about it...
After Sunday evening's Service of Lessons and Carols...Ellen in one of her Christmas dresses.
Just a little cuddle time.
This will probably be the last post before Christmas. We go to see the cardiologist on Christmas Eve for an echocardiogram to see if her PFO (https://health.google.com/health/ref/Patent+foramen+ovale) has closed. We won't know the results of the test for at least a week. Given the nature of the week, it will probably be more like two weeks. Anyway, we're hopeful it will provide for more celebration when the results are available. And when we know, we'll let you know!
Thanks for your continued thoughts and prayers on our behalf. May God bless you and yours this season and always.
December 17, 2009
More Better
I've been compelled to write again here. Though I don't know exactly what that may be yet, I'm sure it will come as I go. First, a few pictures. I've posted many on Facebook but some of you readers and followers are not on FB. These are from last week (I think) when Ellen awoke. She's usually pretty smiley now when she wakes up. We're also learning that she likes to lie on her back and swing her arms and kick her legs...a budding swimmer perhaps? Stay tuned. Anyway, the pictures:
First, a few updates on the medical front. We have appointments scheduled next week Tuesday with the pulmonologist and Thursday with the cardiologist. The pulmonologist will check the development of her lungs and (hopefully) authorize the removal of the apnea monitor. The machine has become like a fifth appendage, though we're allowed to take it off when feeding or playing with Ellie. We've come to rely on it, however, when she's sleeping. No alarms for several weeks, but somehow when it comes off full time I think we'll still worry about whether or not she's breathing when she's sleeping. Just a hunch. The cardiologist will perform an echocardiogram to check the progress of a valve that had not closed yet when she was born. There is no real alarm here, but simply checking progress. They assure us that this is a very common and benign thing. We'll take "their" word for it.
Beyond the medical realities, we're both experiencing new realities in parenting and grieving. Jeanine was reading in a book last week about how best to carry on the memory of a lost child (in our case, Lily). It was interesting to listen to the suggestions, especially for the holidays and how this book emphasized talking to your living child about his or her twin. They wrote about how your child knows intuitively that they were a twin and will communicate with her even at a very young age. No doubt we'll both watch closely for that. We've been given several small (I'll call them) figurines in Lily's memory and her gravestone has now been place in the cemetery. Jeanine is also working on a Christmas stocking for her. We attended The Messiah last night at Lincoln Center and both of us cried at some point, for varying reasons. Needless to say, the pain of loss is still very present. I suspect it will be for some time and others have indicated that it shows up in unexpected places. We have been working through it. Last month we attended a group therapy session specifically for those who have lost pregnancies. It was helpful. In preparing to preach at the end of the year, I've been drawn to the idea of remembering and what role remembering plays in life. God emphasized a long memory to the Israelites as they journeyed to the Promised Land. But other things he displayed a short memory, especially as it relates to their sins. Something I intend to explore over the next couple of weeks...remembering..."memento".
In the meantime, we're really enjoying parenthood. Ellen seems to be happy in the morning and less so at night. Many have told me this is quite typical with babies. I'll take their word(s) for it. After hearing a report on NPR about an iphone app that is supposed to be able to interpret babies' cries, we've taken on the new challenge of attempting to interpret them ourselves. I have noticed recently that she has figured out that if she takes a deep breath she can really belt it out. I find it funny...she does not. Ellen that is. I think it probably just makes her even more angry. Jeanine finds it slightly annoying that I think it's funny.
How to conclude such a post? I think the only way is to say thank you. You have been making the journey with us this year. What an unbelievable story...and you're a part of it. So thank you. Your (virtual) presence means more than you realize. My hope is to provide more regular musings in the coming months. And pictures, of course (that's for you, Virginia). Merry Christmas to you all, and if you're in the area over the holidays or anytime for that matter, drop by for a visit here or at the church.
First, a few updates on the medical front. We have appointments scheduled next week Tuesday with the pulmonologist and Thursday with the cardiologist. The pulmonologist will check the development of her lungs and (hopefully) authorize the removal of the apnea monitor. The machine has become like a fifth appendage, though we're allowed to take it off when feeding or playing with Ellie. We've come to rely on it, however, when she's sleeping. No alarms for several weeks, but somehow when it comes off full time I think we'll still worry about whether or not she's breathing when she's sleeping. Just a hunch. The cardiologist will perform an echocardiogram to check the progress of a valve that had not closed yet when she was born. There is no real alarm here, but simply checking progress. They assure us that this is a very common and benign thing. We'll take "their" word for it.
Beyond the medical realities, we're both experiencing new realities in parenting and grieving. Jeanine was reading in a book last week about how best to carry on the memory of a lost child (in our case, Lily). It was interesting to listen to the suggestions, especially for the holidays and how this book emphasized talking to your living child about his or her twin. They wrote about how your child knows intuitively that they were a twin and will communicate with her even at a very young age. No doubt we'll both watch closely for that. We've been given several small (I'll call them) figurines in Lily's memory and her gravestone has now been place in the cemetery. Jeanine is also working on a Christmas stocking for her. We attended The Messiah last night at Lincoln Center and both of us cried at some point, for varying reasons. Needless to say, the pain of loss is still very present. I suspect it will be for some time and others have indicated that it shows up in unexpected places. We have been working through it. Last month we attended a group therapy session specifically for those who have lost pregnancies. It was helpful. In preparing to preach at the end of the year, I've been drawn to the idea of remembering and what role remembering plays in life. God emphasized a long memory to the Israelites as they journeyed to the Promised Land. But other things he displayed a short memory, especially as it relates to their sins. Something I intend to explore over the next couple of weeks...remembering..."memento".
In the meantime, we're really enjoying parenthood. Ellen seems to be happy in the morning and less so at night. Many have told me this is quite typical with babies. I'll take their word(s) for it. After hearing a report on NPR about an iphone app that is supposed to be able to interpret babies' cries, we've taken on the new challenge of attempting to interpret them ourselves. I have noticed recently that she has figured out that if she takes a deep breath she can really belt it out. I find it funny...she does not. Ellen that is. I think it probably just makes her even more angry. Jeanine finds it slightly annoying that I think it's funny.
How to conclude such a post? I think the only way is to say thank you. You have been making the journey with us this year. What an unbelievable story...and you're a part of it. So thank you. Your (virtual) presence means more than you realize. My hope is to provide more regular musings in the coming months. And pictures, of course (that's for you, Virginia). Merry Christmas to you all, and if you're in the area over the holidays or anytime for that matter, drop by for a visit here or at the church.
October 26, 2009
Almost 8 Weeks...
...and still not to her due date. Friday, October 30 is the original projection of when Miss Ellen and Miss Lilly would arrive. Much has happened since my last post, so I'll give as detailed an update as I can with a few pictures. We've had three doctors visits in the last two weeks: the eye doctor was almost two weeks ago, the pulmonologist was last Tuesday and the cardiologist last Wednesday. First, the eye doctor. I've spoken to a few of you about that visit. All three were precautionary appointments, set up when we were dismissed from the hospital on Sept. 21. The eye doctor was to check the development of her retinas and to see if the CPAP machine had any negative impact on them. The process was two sets of eye drops - one to dilate her pupils and the other to numb her eyes for what was to come. After 10 or 15 minutes, the drops had taken effect and back into the exam room we went. The doc used some kind of instrument to prop Ellen's eye open and then (pardon the graffic nature of this post) another kind of instrument to move her eye around so she could get a good look. Maybe 30 seconds for each eye while I held her tight and she screamed her little head off. Good set of lungs, but I think we can all agree it wasn't exactly a pleasant encounter. But the doc was pleased with the progress so far and ordered us back in three weeks (next week) for a follow-up to make sure they continue to progress.
The pulmonologist visit last week was to check the development of her lungs and to read the results of the apnea monitor to which Ellen has been attached non-stop (minus baths) essentially since she was born. They were also pleased with the progress, but wouldn't graduate her from the machine. Instead, they said we could wean her off of it, removing it when we were feeding her or watching her closely. But otherwise, when sleeping or in another room, she should still be on it. I think it's more that they are weaning us off the machine rather than Ellen, since she doesn't know if it's on or not. But it was another positive report.
Finally, the cardiologist last week was to check on a heart valve that had not closed yet when she was sent home from the hospital. After the initial check up and regular check in things (weight - 7 lbs, 11 ounces, length - 20 inches) the cardio doc came in and said it was really to early to check since she hadn't made it to her due date yet. But he also assured us that it wasn't a big deal and that we should make another appointment in 3-6 weeks "for peace of mind." In other words, this is not a big deal. Did I say that already? Even if the doctor's appointment was really quite pointless, I did still get a sticker and a lollipop out of the deal.
So here we are, 7 weeks and 5 days into life on the outside. Ellen eats well and sleeps well. We've officially moved her into her own room upstairs and we took her for a hike yesterday in the beautiful New Jersey autumn weather. Here are some pictures for your enjoyment - with some older ones so you can see how much she's grown and changed.
Just after bathtime...
Birthday picture with dad...
Mid-feeding...
Day 1...
The pulmonologist visit last week was to check the development of her lungs and to read the results of the apnea monitor to which Ellen has been attached non-stop (minus baths) essentially since she was born. They were also pleased with the progress, but wouldn't graduate her from the machine. Instead, they said we could wean her off of it, removing it when we were feeding her or watching her closely. But otherwise, when sleeping or in another room, she should still be on it. I think it's more that they are weaning us off the machine rather than Ellen, since she doesn't know if it's on or not. But it was another positive report.
Finally, the cardiologist last week was to check on a heart valve that had not closed yet when she was sent home from the hospital. After the initial check up and regular check in things (weight - 7 lbs, 11 ounces, length - 20 inches) the cardio doc came in and said it was really to early to check since she hadn't made it to her due date yet. But he also assured us that it wasn't a big deal and that we should make another appointment in 3-6 weeks "for peace of mind." In other words, this is not a big deal. Did I say that already? Even if the doctor's appointment was really quite pointless, I did still get a sticker and a lollipop out of the deal.
So here we are, 7 weeks and 5 days into life on the outside. Ellen eats well and sleeps well. We've officially moved her into her own room upstairs and we took her for a hike yesterday in the beautiful New Jersey autumn weather. Here are some pictures for your enjoyment - with some older ones so you can see how much she's grown and changed.
Just after bathtime...
Birthday picture with dad...
Mid-feeding...
Day 1...
October 12, 2009
Pictures - six weeks
So I've been reprimanded for not posting pictures. Even blackmailed. At long last, here are some more for you to enjoy. At last weigh in - last Thursday on the kitchen scale - she was six pounds and six ounces. I think from the pictures you can see where the weight is being stored.
In other news, we have several appointments coming up in the next two weeks. Tomorrow we see the opthalmologist, and next week the pulmonologist and cardiologist. All these appointments were set up when Ellen was dismissed from the hospital as precautions taken for all premies. We're hopeful that all will go well, but if you think of it we appreciate your prayers. Hopefully at the pulmonologist the apnea monitor will be removed. We'll see. Enjoy the pictures!
Molly has been wearing the "Cone of Shame" for some time...she can't stop scratching her ears. We're hopeful now that Ellen is home she'll return to normal. We'll see.
Our friends Eric and Kylee has a baby - Amelia - about 3 and a half weeks before Ellen. This is the first picture of the two little friends together.
In other news, we have several appointments coming up in the next two weeks. Tomorrow we see the opthalmologist, and next week the pulmonologist and cardiologist. All these appointments were set up when Ellen was dismissed from the hospital as precautions taken for all premies. We're hopeful that all will go well, but if you think of it we appreciate your prayers. Hopefully at the pulmonologist the apnea monitor will be removed. We'll see. Enjoy the pictures!
Molly has been wearing the "Cone of Shame" for some time...she can't stop scratching her ears. We're hopeful now that Ellen is home she'll return to normal. We'll see.
Our friends Eric and Kylee has a baby - Amelia - about 3 and a half weeks before Ellen. This is the first picture of the two little friends together.
September 21, 2009
Words with pictures to follow
Monday, September 21 is another graduation day. It was a few months ago that I wrote about the first of hopefully many graduation days when we were sent home from CHoP. Today is another one of those. As I make this blog entry just to my right in her little red carseat (the carseat seems huge, but it's little) is my baby Ellen. She was discharged this afternoon after only 19 days in the hospital. This morning the nurse said it was possible she would go home and that we'd probably know by noon. Noon came and went and we had no phone call from the hospital. We called to see what was up and the nurse said the doctor was in at that very moment reading Ellen's charts. She would call as soon as she knew. An hour later the phone still had not rung. So we called them (again). The doctor had read her charts and then went to lunch. Apparently he did not know we were on the phone waiting to hear the verdict. Or he was just simply not that anxious about it. Either way, he left us in the dark. We planned to go for the 4 PM feeding anyway, and the nurse told us to bring our equipment in just in case. As soon as we walked in the door at 3:30 she said that we were headed home! So after all the paperwork, a little dress up in the clothes that I bought for her just today, and her 4:00 meal, she was loaded up (all 4 pounds, 7 ounces of her), strapped in, and her first taste of freedom was upon her. She came home with an Apnea monitor (as mentioned in an earlier post) and will have a checkup on that in one month, if not before, depending on how much she makes the alarm go off. And she has an eye checkup and an ear checkup and a heart checkup...phew. I'm sure there are more but all we need to know right now is that baby is home. Thank you God!
It is still somewhat bittersweet, knowing that we had been preparing for a double graduation today. And it is still at times difficult for us to know how to deal with both joy and sorrow at the same time. But right now, it's a contented sigh that you hear - both from the kitchen table and the kitchen chair. I'm sure there will be many more.
It is still somewhat bittersweet, knowing that we had been preparing for a double graduation today. And it is still at times difficult for us to know how to deal with both joy and sorrow at the same time. But right now, it's a contented sigh that you hear - both from the kitchen table and the kitchen chair. I'm sure there will be many more.
September 18, 2009
September 17, 2009
No Panic Button
Thursday today. That means yesterday was Wednesday. Funny how the days are now running together. Someone told me today (I think it was today...was it yesterday?) that I've joined the "what day is it" club. But now it's been confirmed. It is Thursday. No need to panic over no posts yet this week. It's just been neglected due to the re-entry into the fall church year.
Ellen is doing very well. I'm trying to remember what all has transpired with her in the last week...I'll do my best to recap. Currently she is taking all of her feedings by bottle (every three hours) and is eating 40ccs at each one. How much is that? According to online conversion calculators that is 1.35 ounces. She weighs 4 pounds 2 ounces and has been in an open air crib since early Monday afternoon. She's been able to maintain her body temperature on her own. I went for the 2 PM feeding on Monday and while giving her the bottle the doctor came in. He told me she was doing well and thought she might be ready to go home by the end of the week. Good thing I was holding her or I would have probably fallen out of the chair. It came as a complete shock as we were prepared for a long term stay. He did say she'd be sent home with an Apnea Monitor and we'd have to have a training for that. We had the training yesterday but still no affirmative word on when she'll be coming home - it sounds like Sunday at the earliest. She's becoming more and more alert when we're there which is pretty cool. And they're allowing us to bring clothes and blankets in for her so we have a few pictures of her wearing some of those things.
That leads me to where I really wanted to go here, and that's to give a great big thank you. I think Jeanine is doing her best to keep on writing personal thank-yous to everyone who has sent gifts of any kind. We've heard from countless people by email, facebook, comments on the blog, cards, phone calls, notes...I don't think I could possibly communicate how grateful we are to all of you. Your outpouring of love and care for us has been tremendous. I'd love to be able to list you all here - the Ludington gang, the Avery St. CRC, the knitting club in Pella are just a few groups of people who deserve our thanks. So if there's a bigger word that communicates more than "thank you" can, I would use it now. We're truly humbled by your care.
I promise to post some more pictures soon, but it's now 1 AM and when I started this post it was several hours ago. Good night!
Ellen is doing very well. I'm trying to remember what all has transpired with her in the last week...I'll do my best to recap. Currently she is taking all of her feedings by bottle (every three hours) and is eating 40ccs at each one. How much is that? According to online conversion calculators that is 1.35 ounces. She weighs 4 pounds 2 ounces and has been in an open air crib since early Monday afternoon. She's been able to maintain her body temperature on her own. I went for the 2 PM feeding on Monday and while giving her the bottle the doctor came in. He told me she was doing well and thought she might be ready to go home by the end of the week. Good thing I was holding her or I would have probably fallen out of the chair. It came as a complete shock as we were prepared for a long term stay. He did say she'd be sent home with an Apnea Monitor and we'd have to have a training for that. We had the training yesterday but still no affirmative word on when she'll be coming home - it sounds like Sunday at the earliest. She's becoming more and more alert when we're there which is pretty cool. And they're allowing us to bring clothes and blankets in for her so we have a few pictures of her wearing some of those things.
That leads me to where I really wanted to go here, and that's to give a great big thank you. I think Jeanine is doing her best to keep on writing personal thank-yous to everyone who has sent gifts of any kind. We've heard from countless people by email, facebook, comments on the blog, cards, phone calls, notes...I don't think I could possibly communicate how grateful we are to all of you. Your outpouring of love and care for us has been tremendous. I'd love to be able to list you all here - the Ludington gang, the Avery St. CRC, the knitting club in Pella are just a few groups of people who deserve our thanks. So if there's a bigger word that communicates more than "thank you" can, I would use it now. We're truly humbled by your care.
I promise to post some more pictures soon, but it's now 1 AM and when I started this post it was several hours ago. Good night!
September 10, 2009
A Long and Short Week
It seems like it's time to update again since another Wednesday has come and gone. This morning we had our small graveside service for Lilly. It is/was a cool day but the sun came out on our little flock as we sat and stood and listened to Psalms 121 and 139 and Luke 12. Pastor Norm Brown, a good friend of mine, conducted the service with grace and hope. Rachel Dunwoody sang "Children of the Heavenly Father" because we couldn't and we all joined her on the last phrase of the last verse because she couldn't. Jeanine commented on the power of the Scriptures and after a time of tears we were comforted by our family at our house. It was a difficult day but a necessary one and I think we all feel better having gone through it. God continues to give us what we need each day. We prayed the Lord's Prayer together and as we prayed, "Give us this day our daily bread," I remembered how about a month or two ago I had really been drawn to that request. Just enough for today, like manna in the desert.
And of course, it wouldn't be complete if we didn't tell you what was happening with Ellie. Yesterday's morning weigh-in had her at 3 pounds, 14 ounces. They did say she had a big poop so we wondered if the weigh-in was before or after that. Just thought you'd like to know. Anyway, last night the nurse had the Yankee game on the radio and although I am NOT a Yankee fan, I thought a little early infiltration of baseball in any form was acceptable. This morning the nurse attempted her first bottle feeding while Jeanine and her parents were there and she sucked that thing right down like a little pro (so I heard). She's been out from under the blue light since Sunday night, breathing on her own since last Thursday, and now gaining weight. We're cautiously optimistic that she's really doing what she needs to do and will likely be home before we know it.
Jeanine is healing slowly and I am taking a week of bereavement leave. So, hm. What more can I say except that we continue to appreciate your prayers and notes and love and we absolutely are uplifted by them. Much love to you all.
And of course, it wouldn't be complete if we didn't tell you what was happening with Ellie. Yesterday's morning weigh-in had her at 3 pounds, 14 ounces. They did say she had a big poop so we wondered if the weigh-in was before or after that. Just thought you'd like to know. Anyway, last night the nurse had the Yankee game on the radio and although I am NOT a Yankee fan, I thought a little early infiltration of baseball in any form was acceptable. This morning the nurse attempted her first bottle feeding while Jeanine and her parents were there and she sucked that thing right down like a little pro (so I heard). She's been out from under the blue light since Sunday night, breathing on her own since last Thursday, and now gaining weight. We're cautiously optimistic that she's really doing what she needs to do and will likely be home before we know it.
Jeanine is healing slowly and I am taking a week of bereavement leave. So, hm. What more can I say except that we continue to appreciate your prayers and notes and love and we absolutely are uplifted by them. Much love to you all.
September 6, 2009
Daddy's Turn
Our little girl is four days old. Unbelievable. She's still in the NICU but she's doing well, so they report to us. The CPAP has been off since Thursday and so far she's breathing well on her own. Thank goodness for those steroid shots a week ago - just in the nick of time. They tell us that she has or is about to be officially "graduated" into intermediate care, though she is still physically in the NICU. They're waiting for room in the other nursery. We've been able to hold her for a little while every day, but she's still a little bit jaundiced so she's relaxing under the blue light with her little eye cover on, getting her beauty rest. She's feisty, they tell me, and she's active. She likes to stretch out and kick. We're hoping she's not burning all the calories she needs to gain weight!
I "preached" this morning. I put it in quotation marks because I told my church that it was more of a theological reflection than a sermon. We/I reflected on the extremes of life as Heidi pointed out in one of her comments here. Right on point, thanks for that. It was also a communion Sunday which was extremely fitting and timely. Maybe I'll post my words in another post but I don't have the transcript on this computer. After church we had cupcakes that were made by one of our neighbors and I think they were a hit with everyone. Good stuff.
So here are the documented photos of my first time with my little girl. She's already melting my heart. When I walked in to see her today the nurse on duty said, "You must be Ellen's dad. She's a spitting image of you." I was pleased. Here we are.
I "preached" this morning. I put it in quotation marks because I told my church that it was more of a theological reflection than a sermon. We/I reflected on the extremes of life as Heidi pointed out in one of her comments here. Right on point, thanks for that. It was also a communion Sunday which was extremely fitting and timely. Maybe I'll post my words in another post but I don't have the transcript on this computer. After church we had cupcakes that were made by one of our neighbors and I think they were a hit with everyone. Good stuff.
So here are the documented photos of my first time with my little girl. She's already melting my heart. When I walked in to see her today the nurse on duty said, "You must be Ellen's dad. She's a spitting image of you." I was pleased. Here we are.
September 3, 2009
Skin to skin
It's a wonderful thing. Jeanine got to hold Ellie for the first time this afternoon. Here's a glimpse of that first mommy/baby encounter on the outside. Ellen is doing well, they came to do an ultrasound of her head just at the tail end of our time with her this afternoon. Results won't be available until tomorrow sometime at the earliest. Jeanine is feeling better as time goes on...hoping for a Saturday homecoming for her. God is good!
Introducing
Here she is, the newest member of the Broek family in all her glory. There are a few pictures I've kept out of public sight for fear of DYFS coming after me. They involve a little too much nudity. Without further ado...
September 2, 2009
4 hours old
Little Ellen is a beautiful little girl. I saw her about an hour ago in the NICU. One correction already - she was 3 pounds 10 ounces (I put 11 ounces on Facebook). She has some very small breathing tubes and an even small feeding tube, but they tell me she's doing well. She does have a good voice as she made it clear she did not appreciate the tubes coming out of her nose - very uncomfortable. So we sang a duet together. She is a beauty. They say she'll be here anywhere from 3 to 8 weeks, depending on her lung capacity and weight gain. Jeanine is quite nauseous from the pain med and the anesthesiology. But she's also a beauty. Early reports indicate she'll be here until Saturday (St. Joseph's, Paterson). I also spent a few moments with Lilly who also is a beauty.
What a day. How can one express such joy and grief at the same time? I'm not sure. Probably that will come in the next few days and weeks. The whole day has been a blur that we haven't had much time to process - celebrating life and preparing for a funeral at the same time.
What happened? We had our weekly Wednesday visit this morning at 9:45. On the way in we talked about needing to get Jeanine's bag ready and in the car. Little did we know we'd need it today. Into the ultrasound room where it was immediately evident something was not right. Baby A - now Ellen - had no amniotic fluid but did have a heartbeat. Baby B - Lillian - had fluid but no heartbeat. Alison (ultrasound friend) brought Dr. Garber in who confirmed what we feared and sent us to the hospital to be delivered. Somehow something ruptured...no one really knows what...but it happened in the last 24 hours...and so it was time to get Ellen out. So off we went and by 1 PM he was ready to deliver. Dr. Garber and all the people at the clinic seemed very upset - we have come to know and love them for the care they've given us over the last several months. It was a hard thing for all of us.
But God is good, we have no doubt. We trust him with life and death. We have experienced tremendous peace today and pray for the same tomorrow. And we'll keep you posted. Thanks for your love and prayers and support. Our nurse today said she can tell we are Christians. We can tell we are surrounded by you. Thank you.
What a day. How can one express such joy and grief at the same time? I'm not sure. Probably that will come in the next few days and weeks. The whole day has been a blur that we haven't had much time to process - celebrating life and preparing for a funeral at the same time.
What happened? We had our weekly Wednesday visit this morning at 9:45. On the way in we talked about needing to get Jeanine's bag ready and in the car. Little did we know we'd need it today. Into the ultrasound room where it was immediately evident something was not right. Baby A - now Ellen - had no amniotic fluid but did have a heartbeat. Baby B - Lillian - had fluid but no heartbeat. Alison (ultrasound friend) brought Dr. Garber in who confirmed what we feared and sent us to the hospital to be delivered. Somehow something ruptured...no one really knows what...but it happened in the last 24 hours...and so it was time to get Ellen out. So off we went and by 1 PM he was ready to deliver. Dr. Garber and all the people at the clinic seemed very upset - we have come to know and love them for the care they've given us over the last several months. It was a hard thing for all of us.
But God is good, we have no doubt. We trust him with life and death. We have experienced tremendous peace today and pray for the same tomorrow. And we'll keep you posted. Thanks for your love and prayers and support. Our nurse today said she can tell we are Christians. We can tell we are surrounded by you. Thank you.
Birthday
Well friends, here's a quick update with a promise for details to follow. We have a baby girl - Ellen Kopaska Broek was born at 1:43 this afternoon, 3 pounds 11 ounces. Her sister Lillian passed away sometime in the last 24 hours (we think) which is what prompted a September 2 birthday for Ellen. We need your prayers for mom and dad and Ellen who has some work to do, but seems to be doing well at this early stage. Jeanine is recovering and about to be brought to a room. She will get to see Ellen tonight, I hope to see her shortly. But like I said...more details to follow.
August 26, 2009
Did you say steroids?
With each subsequent visit to Clifton the reality of two babies becomes greater. For those of you keeping score at home, here are the details: 30 weeks, 5 days and Baby A is 3 pounds 5 ounces (a gain of 10 ounces in two weeks), Spud is 1 pound 11 ounces (a gain of 7 ounces in two weeks). Dr. Garber was pleased with the growth and the blood flow which is consistent in both. Alison (ultrasound lady) noted that Spud now has a small bit of fluid in the belly, but Garber was not concerned. As long as the growth is good and the blood flow does not worsen, he is willing to keep going. As Jeanine was having her blood pressure checked in the hallway outside the exam room Dr. Garber was telling another patient that he would be inducing her today. Jeanine and I both looked at each other recognizing that could be us any one of these visits. In the words of the great Shaggy, "Zoiks!" The other highlight of today's visit was the shot of steroids Jeanine received - the first of two; the second we have to go back for tomorrow. I double checked the doctor's name - yep, Andrew Garber, not Victor Conte - who said he does this for all multiples since it helps their lung development. The nurse said that the shot typically also causes a sleepless night for mom. We'll see how that goes. And I'll be keeping a close eye on Jeanine's church softball statistics.
I've posted some pictures of the babies' room which is nearing completion. Jeanine and a young lady from church are working on some wall hanging stuff to add variety and eventually we'll add a second crib, but they say the two will be able to be in the same one for the first few months.
Here are this week's prayer items: 1) Lung development for the babies - since they could come any time (later rather than sooner, we hope) they need development of those organs. 2) Elimination of fluid and increase of size and blood flow for the babies. 3) The big one - that they'll stay in long enough so that when they do come, they can come home without a NICU stay required. 4) Great prayer of thanksgiving for medical insurance. Thanks for all your prayers!
Don't forget to enter your guess in the baby pool. There are three categories: gender, total birth weight, and date of birth. I'm still trying to determine a scoring system but after last week's post it's clear that the prize will be two things: 1) a Starbucks gift card and 2) babysitting - yes, we get something out of this deal, too.
I've posted some pictures of the babies' room which is nearing completion. Jeanine and a young lady from church are working on some wall hanging stuff to add variety and eventually we'll add a second crib, but they say the two will be able to be in the same one for the first few months.
Here are this week's prayer items: 1) Lung development for the babies - since they could come any time (later rather than sooner, we hope) they need development of those organs. 2) Elimination of fluid and increase of size and blood flow for the babies. 3) The big one - that they'll stay in long enough so that when they do come, they can come home without a NICU stay required. 4) Great prayer of thanksgiving for medical insurance. Thanks for all your prayers!
Don't forget to enter your guess in the baby pool. There are three categories: gender, total birth weight, and date of birth. I'm still trying to determine a scoring system but after last week's post it's clear that the prize will be two things: 1) a Starbucks gift card and 2) babysitting - yes, we get something out of this deal, too.
August 19, 2009
Iced Coffee
First, a shameless plug for my summer craving...and I'm not even the pregnant one around here. Our friend asked Jeanine last night if she had any cravings but as I sip on my cold, caffeinated, sweetened, lightened java I'm realizing that I do have cravings at about 2:30 or 3 every afternoon for the last week. Maybe next week I'll ask them to do an ultrasound on me. Hey, if Arnold Schwarzenegger can do it, why not me? What do you mean movies aren't real? Anyway, I digress. We are now 29 weeks and five days and still going strong. Both babies were very active today and the blood flow is consistent. Growth checks will be done again next week. After last week, when Baby A showed up a little more than 50% larger than Spud, we were concerned about the discordance since we had been warned about that every week at CHOP. We asked Dr. Garber about it today and he said at this point the discordance doesn't really mean anything. As long as both babies continue to grow at their own rate and as long as the blood flow is good, or at least stable, all is well. We also asked about delivery date since one of the docs and CHOP mentioned 32 weeks being the absolute latest we'd go. Again, Garber's response was as long as the babies are growing and blood flow is good we'll keep them in there. I was pleased with that since two weeks sounds really quick. Five or seven weeks sounds better to me. Jeanine, on the other hand, is really starting to go stir crazy. So we're trying to get little outings in every day. Yesterday we went to Goffle Farm to get some sweet corn. Today, the doctor followed by cupcakes and a trip to Wal-Mart for some more Boost. Such detail...but this is the highlight of Jeanine's day. So...we're a week further along and a week closer to parenthood!
Now, no one has ventured a guess yet (to my knowledge) on the babies' arrival date. I know several of you have guesses as to the gender. My problem is coming up with a suitable prize (everybody loves a contest!) for the winner. I would offer that we'd name the babies after you but we already have names picked out. Hm...ideas? I'll get the ball rolling:
Craig says the born-on date will be Sept. 25 and the total birth weight will be 10 pounds, 13 ounces and the gender will be....hehe, you thought I'd drop that one. Guesses? Prize (whatever that is) to be determined based on how you rank in each of the three categories.
Thanks again for your prayers and thoughts. One other thing - someone asked last week about the babies shedding their skin. I asked Alison (ultrasound lady) about it today and she said matter of factly, "Everyone sheds their skin. That's why you should change your sheets if not every week at least every two weeks." Hm...yes, I guess that's right.
Back to the iced coffee.
Now, no one has ventured a guess yet (to my knowledge) on the babies' arrival date. I know several of you have guesses as to the gender. My problem is coming up with a suitable prize (everybody loves a contest!) for the winner. I would offer that we'd name the babies after you but we already have names picked out. Hm...ideas? I'll get the ball rolling:
Craig says the born-on date will be Sept. 25 and the total birth weight will be 10 pounds, 13 ounces and the gender will be....hehe, you thought I'd drop that one. Guesses? Prize (whatever that is) to be determined based on how you rank in each of the three categories.
Thanks again for your prayers and thoughts. One other thing - someone asked last week about the babies shedding their skin. I asked Alison (ultrasound lady) about it today and she said matter of factly, "Everyone sheds their skin. That's why you should change your sheets if not every week at least every two weeks." Hm...yes, I guess that's right.
Back to the iced coffee.
August 14, 2009
Just a few pregnancy pictures
We haven't posted any ultrasound pictures lately because they keep getting fuzzier and fuzzier. The technician (Alison) said that's because thebabies are shedding their skin and such, creating more debris in the amniotic fluid. Interesting, said I. So here are some pictures of the proud parents and especially Mama on her bedrest.
Enjoy!
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